Yesterday, one of my clients at work gave me a birthday present (how sweet!) and then asked me how my birthday was. To this I exclaimed: “IT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!”
My birthday this year was the best one since that mountain top in Europe. (Read about the day God changed my life HERE)
As the location implies, that day was literally a mountain top experience. I was so full of faith, excitement. Everything was new, and wonderful. God was close, the possibilities were endless. Dormant dreams suddenly became feasibilities, and hope was rising within me. I had so much anticipation and plans for the coming years.
Then the years came and went, (seven of them, to be exact) but none of my dreams came to fruition.
I am pretty sure I have cried on every birthday since that special one in Europe, because I was so disillusioned with what had come to be. That may sound ridiculous to you, and that’s alright. There are some things and details about my life that I don’t need to go into detail about here on this blog. So I will summarize it to say that there have just been some years of growth and brokenness that needed to take place, but were hard to get through. Every birthday that came and went became a reminder that my hopes were once again deferred. Each year I was just so disappointed and dejected with my position in life. Nothing was what I thought it would be.
I spent all of 26 dreading turning 27.
However something was different this year.
I have greeted so many birthdays with tears, but this year, I woke up with joy.
For the first time, in a long time, I feel like I can finally smile at my future. (I always found that portion of Proverbs 31 a challenge.)
The funny thing is that nothing has changed. Not really. Nothing about my circumstances as a 27 year old are different from what they were at 26 (or 25…or 22…)
I am still single.
I am still in college.
I am still working the same jobs.
My circumstances haven’t changed – I have. I am not the same person I was a year ago.
So why was my birthday so great?
Well, it could have been the fact that after so many years of feeling like I had no one to celebrate with, this year a whole group of friends (and a few couldn’t come) took me out to my favorite dessert place. I felt blessed beyond measure to have so many wonderful women in my life.
Sure. Any of those reasons would suffice for my having a good birthday.
However, I think there is more to it than that.
I have finally made my peace with where God has me in life, and it has made a world of difference in my joy.
It has taken me about 7 years to figure out how to really surrender my life to the Lord. Not just in method or in motion, but in reality and totality. I find that interesting, because in the Bible, the number 7 represents completion.
My life is not my own, because I gave it completely to Jesus on a snowy January 8th, back in 2006. The seven years since that day have been a journey to where I am now…Twenty-Seven. I must say, 27 feels good. Really Good. I cannot quite put it into words, but I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.